Bogan

New Zealand/Australian white trash or rednecks. Appearance: Typically clad in black rib jersey (Hallensteins, $49.95), black jeans, and a shredded black heavy-metal t-shirt. Clothing with beer logos is an acceptable alternative to above – Waikato is favourite. Black oil stains on skin optional. A curious feature is the haircut, which although short(ish) at the front and sides is long and straggly at the back. The cover thus provided enables one to distinguish the bogan from the redndeck. Habitat: The beach in summer, but only those with free road access. Mt Maunganui provides a typical bogan haunt. Despite the heat, bogans NEVER expose their torsos, even when swimming. Science has yet to explain why they refuse to shed their protective coating of black fabric. Bogans may be found at all times on back roads, at rugby matches, and in public bars. If you can’t see a bogan straight away, they may be shy – try watching the older Holden Kingswoods for activity. Feeding: Copious quantities of beer provide all the nourishment a Bogan requires. Reproduction: Bogans appear to be exclusively male. Females are actively repelled by cries of “getchagearsoff” or “showusyagrowler” if they dare venture too close. Like geeks, rugbyheads and best friends of popular girls, the Bogan is the non-viable offspring of apparently fertile humans. Seldom seen in numbers fewer than three. Source: NZ.com & UD